Archive for Divorce Recovery
(Listener Note: This is Episode #10 of this ten-part series by Shelley Stile. To take full advantage of this series, please listen to the episodes in their proper order).
Create your Future NOW – Divorce offers you the Chance to Create the Life You Want and Deserve!
Although it might be hard to see if now, your divorce has many hidden gifts in the form of life lessons and deep wisdom that will evolve you as a human being and allow you to move forward into a new and vibrant life.
Create the Vision of a New Life and Your Future
To create a new way of being, you must have a clear vision of who you are becoming and the life you choose to live. Identifying what matters to you now and what your passions are is the starting point. Visualizing that Future Self and your New Life allows us to work backwards from that vision, so that we can begin taking action steps today towards your goal.
In this episode of Divorce Recovery, Shelley Stile helps you create a vision of your future self. Shelley discusses how to find what truly has meaning for you and what you are passionate about. Once you are clear about your priorities, you are then free to create a vision of your future; a future that you know will give you the gifts of a life well lived.
Creating a new life concentrates on the positive act of creating, not the negative act of problem solving. Problems, or challenges, will always arise in any journey but it is how we handle these challenges that will be the mark of our character. The real work is in the act of creation. Begin creating your new life and future today with the help of Shelley Stile.
(Listener Note: This is Episode #9 of this ten-part series by Shelley Stile. To take full advantage of this series, please listen to the episodes in their proper order).
Forgiveness is a miraculous act that serves as a release valve that propels us forward into a new life after divorce. To forgive is to be truly free, to be unencumbered by the past. The problem or challenge with forgiveness is that it is very difficult and oftentimes near impossible for us to go there, especially if we are leaving an abusive relationship of some sort. How can we forgive really bad behavior? How can we forgive someone who has wronged or betrayed us?
There are two important elements of forgiveness: what it is and what it gives to us. Forgiveness is the ability to let go of blames, resentments, upsets and negative emotions we hold against a particular person. In order to achieve forgiveness, we go through a process that begins by separating the person who we are forgiving from their behavior. We do so because forgiveness does not mean that we condone someone’s bad behavior. We don’t.
Here is the greatest gift of all: self-forgiveness. By forgiving someone else, you also forgive yourself. You can stop beating yourself up. You can see your own inner child who desperately needs your love and compassion, not your constant judgment and criticism. You can return to state of wholeness. You can have the freedom and power to create your best life possible.
Join Shelley Stile in this episode of Divorce Recovery and learn how forgiveness can move you towards a healthier and happier new you.
(Listener Note: This is Episode #8 of this ten-part series by Shelley Stile. To take full advantage of this series, please listen to the episodes in their proper order).
In this episode of Divorce Recovery with Shelley Stile we discuss the need to change the perspective of your situation which in return can help alter your attitude in a positive manner.
Fear of our future after divorce keeps us stuck in the pain of the past. This fear prompts our mind chatter to paint a bleak picture of an uncertain future, which in turn creates a dis-empowering and negative attitude towards life. A negative attitude on life becomes all pervasive and leaves us powerless and depressed. If we stop and think about it, the future is totally unpredictable and unknowable. We simply cannot know what the future holds. Thus it is our perspective about the future that will lay the foundation for what is coming around the bend.
If we want our future to look a certain way then we need to take charge. Uncertainty is always part of the process of taking charge and moving on. Courage to me is living with uncertainty. Our perspective or attitude on life not only changes the way we think but also changes our reality. Our attitudes do shape our future and the attainment of our goals and in this program, Shelley shows you how to make a positive change in the way you see yourself and your future.
(Listener Note: This is Episode #7 of this ten-part series by Shelley Stile. To take full advantage of this series, please listen to the episodes in their proper order).
If you find yourself stuck in a state of blaming your ex for most of the problems in your relationship, this program will help you understand how to take responsibility for your part of what went wrong in your relationship thus allowing you to take back control of your life.
Once you have moved into acceptance of your life, you can concentrate on moving on after divorce. Moving on means connecting with what is now important to you. Moving on means discovering what you truly want from life, what makes you come alive and brings you joy.
This episode of Divorce Recovery with Shelley Stile will help you become empowered, confident and enthusiastic to move on. You will learn to take full responsibility and control of your life and transform it into something wonderful and new.
(Listener Note: This is Episode #6 of this ten-part series by Shelley Stile. To take full advantage of this series, please listen to the episodes in their proper order).
In this episode of Divorce Recovery, Divorce/Life Coach, Shelley Stile teaches us how not to distort the reality of our situation.
When we are living our lives in a state of true awareness wherein we are truly conscious of our actions, we can free ourselves from reactive, self defeating behavior and realize our personal best. Unfortunately, although we may think that we make conscious decisions; in reality our unconscious mind impacts our behavior. Our actions are therefore not truly under our control. We can learn to recognize the unconscious, that part of our mind that has great power over much of our actions without us even being aware of its existence. In doing so, we can diminish its power over us.
When we live on a conscious level, we are as alert to what is happening as a deer in the woods who hears something unknown. We insure that our actions, our decisions, our communications are not influenced by the myriad filters we apply to life. We don’t look through rose colored or black glasses; we choose to look through crystal clear ones that do not distort reality.
In this program we learn how to recognize when we slip into unconsciousness, thereby training ourselves to be more and more conscious of what is really happening. We free ourselves from, doing the same things over and over again. We learn from our heightened sense of awareness. We begin to see things differently, in a much more objective and clear way.
(Listener Note: This is Episode #5 of this ten-part series by Shelley Stile. To take full advantage of this series, please listen to the episodes in their proper order).
The ability to move on after your divorce entails the letting go of the past with its emotional baggage and negative emotions. If you can accomplish this feat then the heavy burdens you have been carrying will lift and you will experience the liberation of freedom: the ability to move unimpeded towards whatever goal you establish for yourself.
Ask yourself: what is the price I am paying in holding onto what no longer exists? What is the cost of being chained to my negative emotions and perspective? Is it costing me my health? My peace of mind? My relationship with my children? My happiness? My optimism and enthusiasm for life? I assure you that the price you pay is very, very high and it is you alone, not your ex, that pays that price.
How would you feel if you were free of all that negative stuff? Would you feel the world contains new possibilities and opportunities for you? Would you feel light? Would your body and heart stop aching? Would you be able to be happy again? Would you have renewed energy? How would freedom feel for you?
Divorce and Life Coach Shelley Stile explains the importance of acceptance and letting go during this episode of Divorce Recovery. For more information on Shelley Stile, visit her website at www.LifeAfterYourDivorce.com.
(Listener Note: This is Episode #4 of this ten-part series by Shelley Stile. To take full advantage of this series, please listen to the episodes in their proper order).
If you are going through a divorce, chances are you’ve heard some negative thoughts running through your head. Am I good enough? Was this my Fault? Will I ever find another partner? Many going through a divorce experience these types of thoughts early on during the grief phase and this is quite normal and understandable. But If you can’t seem to move beyond these thoughts, it’s time to explore them and ask yourself are my feelings and interpretations of my situation really true? More times than not you’ll discover these thoughts are not your reality but rather the meaning you have attached to them.
In this episode of Divorce Recovery, Shelley Stile shows us how to sort fact from fiction and helps us to see the truth. By doing this, we empower ourselves to see the reality or our situation and can begin to let go of negative self talk. Divorce is an opportunity for personal growth and Shelley provides us with tips to feel better mentally and physically during this tough time and helps us to discover our true reality.
For more on Shelley Stile, visit: www.LifeAfterYourdivorce.com.
(Listener Note: This is Episode #3 of this ten-part series by Shelley Stile. To take full advantage of this series, please listen to the episodes in their proper order).
In this episode of Divorce Recovery with Shelley Stile, we explore Unenforceable Expectations as they relate to divorce and life in general.
Expectations or something we expect to go our way, can lead to resentment and disappointment. Our desire to expect everything to go our way can even be a form of self-sabotage.
As an example of Unenforceable Expectations, have you ever:
- Expected your ex to treat you with kindness and respect?
- Expected your ex to be fair regarding your financial settlement?
- Expected you ex to be a wonderful father or mother to your children?
- Expected the judge and mediator to see things your way?
So why do we expect so much from our ex, family and friends? Is this type of expectation a form of control?
Shelly Stile addresses these questions and explains how to accept the “Nature of Life”, you’ll have good days and bad. Your Self-imposed impossible expectations are a major source of your inability to let go of the pain of your divorce and move forward. This concept does not just apply to divorce recovery. It applies to all of life.
This program will help you to recognize and deal with any unenforceable expectations you may be having and get you on the path to a healthy mindset.
(Listener Note: This is Episode #2 of this ten-part series by Shelley Stile. To take full advantage of this series, please listen to the episodes in their proper order).
Have you ever listened to the Negative Mind Chatter that goes on in your head during the course of your divorce? Thoughts like “You aren’t good enough”, and fearful inner voices chattering “You’ll be alone for the rest of your life”.
Negative mind chatter can be rooted from our childhood. During extreme stress, such as going through a divorce, our emotions have the ability to resurface with feelings of insecurity or not being “good enough”, only now this negative self chatter is amplified.
In this episode of Divorce Recovery with Shelley Stile, Divorce Recovery/Life Coach Shelley Stile shows us ways to turn off the negative self talk and train ourselves to focus on building a positive fantastic future.
Contact Info for Shelley Stile: www.LifeAfterYourDivorce.com
(Listener Note: This is Episode #1 of this ten-part series by Shelley Stile. To take full advantage of this series, please listen to the episodes in their proper order).
Picking Up the Pieces and Moving On with Your Life
Divorce Coach, Shelley Stile discusses the grieving process during this episode.
The hardest part of a loss is learning to accept this new reality and operate within the new geography. Nonetheless, it can and must be done. Once we have achieved a sense of closure, we can move forward. In every ending there is a new beginning but first we must accept the ending.
The loss involved in a divorce is as painful as a death. In many ways it is a death of an entire way of life. But what we need to know is this: it is not so much what happens to us in life, rather it is how we handle what happens to us that is important.
In this program, Shelley coaches us through:
- The Stages of Grieving
- How to Overcome Your Divorce and Create a Bright Future
- Dealing with Anger and Negative Emotions
- The Signs of Depression after Divorce
- Positive Parenting for the Sake of the Kids
- And much more.
For more on Shelley Stile, visit her website at: www.LifeAfterYourDivorce.com