Archive for The Smart Divorce
Save Time, Money and Your Sanity When Going Through Divorce
Posted by: | CommentsThe very word “divorce” conjures up fear, sadness, anger, confusion and, for some, relief. But the reality of what divorce really looks like and means with all of its implications are not always clear. With close to 50% of marriages ending in divorce, we need to better employ strategies that will keep everyone, including those caught in the middle – often the children – moving towards a better life. Divorce can be a beginning even if it looks like an end.
No matter who you are, what your finances look like, whether you have children or working through issues, divorce can be complex and complicated, but it doesn’t need to be. Almost all of us have questions, deal with problems and are faced with the myriad of concerns as we navigate the maze of divorce.
Hear Deborah Moskovitch and Steve Peck discuss the concerns and questions most of us have through divorce and the importance of making smart decisions – all with the help of The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit.
Topics include:
- The emotional, legal and finances of divorce
- Smart Co-Parenting
- Rebuilding your life to build a better future
- Coping with divorce in the workplace
- Understanding workplace stress
- How organizations can help employees stay mindful on the job
“Like” Divorce Source Radio on Facebook between February 8-15 to enter your name in a draw to win a copy of The Smart Divorce Resource ToolKit.
But, even if you don’t win the free ToolKit, it’s still a win, email info@thesmartdivorce.com to place an order and mention you heard about it on Divorce Source Radio to receive a 10% discount! To preview the program click on the link – http://wp.me/pbONe-gF
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Ten Signs Your Spouse May be Planning to Divorce You
Posted by: | CommentsIn this episode of The Smart Divorce with Deborah Moskovitch, we discuss The Ten Signs that Your Spouse May be Planning to Divorce You.
Many times, especially in long-term relationships, spouses drift apart. They may not be having sex much, if at all, and their intimate conversations and sharing of day-to-day life experiences may cease to exist.
You would think that these signs, alone, would be enough to cause partners to wonder if their relationship was in trouble. It seems, however, that this pattern of distancing themselves was a slow, eroding process, and for some, they feel it was the normal progression of a long-term relationship.
If you and your partner have lost the connection that you once shared, it’s possible that your partner has considered, or could even be planning, a divorce, without your having any knowledge of it. Deborah reveals the signs that your spouse might be seeking a divorce, as originally mentioned in The Globe and Mail article, by Tralee Pearce
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Overcoming Domestic Violence: Moving Out and Moving On
Posted by: | CommentsOur guest, Sharon Zarozny of Brilliant Exits (http://www.brilliantexits.com/) shares her personal story of overcoming the trauma she experienced as a victim of Domestic Violence and abuse. Domestic Violence can happen to anyone, and Sharon was hard pressed to believe that this was happening to her. Fact was, as an educated woman who’d traded in a successful career to be a stay at home mom, there was no way she and her daughters were the “victims” of that ugly phrase “domestic violence.” Sharon’s family had the trappings of a privileged life thanks to her husband’s thriving surgical practice. He was a brilliant Ivy League grad. It just didn’t add up.
If you can identify, get a copy of Susan Weitzman’s book Not To People Like Us: Hidden Abuse in Upscale Marriages or check out nottopeoplelikeus.com. Knowing you are not alone is so crucial to getting out. In your world that swirls with “unreals” and craziness, you’ll find this book/site a gift of validation. You’ll know you are not crazy.
Also visit The Weitzman Center and download the free Care Kit provided. It too will help you understand and safely plan for when you are ready to get out. And plan you must. When you leave a high earning, narcissistic professional you can be in for quite a rough ride through the legal system. Often the upscale abuser has the means, power and leverage to hire a legal dream team and use the courts to further the abuse.
To learn more about Sharon’s story, read her article that appeared in The Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sharon-zarozny/are-you-brave-enough-to-l_b_837390.html
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Find a Problem Solving Divorce Attorney, Not a Conflict Creator
Posted by: | CommentsOur guest, Mark Baer (http://www.markbaeresq.com) is a family law attorney, mediator, and collaborative law practitioner in Pasadena, California and has been practicing for twenty years. He received a great deal of media attention regarding his opinions that the family law system in the United States destroys families and his views on better and more constructive ways of handling such matters. His articles have appeared in Forbes, The Los Angeles Daily Journal and Valley Lawyer Magazine. Columnists from the Pasadena Star-News, the Los Angeles, Times and other newspapers use Mark as a resource for their columns.
Problem solving is a hallmark of a good lawyer. We explore this outlook and learn what you need to consider when looking for a lawyer. To learn more, Mark has written the must read article Things to Consider in Order to Select an Attorney Who is a Problem Solver and Not a Conflict Creator (http://www.markbaeresq.com/Pasadena-Family-Law-Blog/2011/September/Things-to-Consider-in-Order-to-Select-an-Attorne2.aspx)
Topics in this program include:
- What is a problem solving lawyer
- What is a problem creator lawyer
- Finding your problem-solving lawyer
- How to look for a mediator that’s right for you
- Problems with lawyers and the legal system
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TV’s Divorce Court Celebrity Judge Lynn Toler with Thoughts on Divorce
Posted by: | CommentsOur guest, award winner and mentor, Judge Lynn Toler (http://judgelynn.com/toler_divorce_court/) is smart, talented and creative – and judge on one of television’s most successful courtroom drama series: DIVORCE COURT.
Judge Lynn Toler is a former municipal court judge who now hosts the nationally syndicated show, Divorce Court. She is also a bi-monthly contributor to News and Notes on NPR and became host of the prime time TV show Decision House in 2007. In 2006, Judge Lynn published her book, My Mother’s Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius. Praised as an “awe-inspiring memoir” by Essence Magazine, it not only chronicles her life as a child raised in the shadow of her father’s mental illness but provides practical advice for anyone seeking more and better emotional control
Having completed more than two thousand episodes, on DIVORCE COURT, Judge Lynn Toler turns up the heat on court shows in this half-hour, relationship oriented series. Viewers experience the drama firsthand as husbands and wives square off in real-life courtroom battles. Judge Lynn shares her wisdom and insight of the legal process, how to have a much smarter divorce…..or even save your marriage. And, she speaks of her mission to gain awareness about teen violence.
Topics in this program include:
- How communicating better might help you avoid divorce
- What a judge can and cannot do
- The emotions of court; what to do to get a better resolution
- The inherent unfairness of no fault divorce
- The surprising truth about teen violence and what parents should be aware of Domestic violence – an explanation, coping and managing
- The limits of the legal system
- Intelligent mediation
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Our guest, Lisa Decker (www.DivorceMoneyMatters.com) who is referred to as Miss Money Matters ® - is the CEO and founder of Divorce Money Matters®. Ms. Decker is an expert in divorce financial matters, and a discreet problem-solver who guides her clients to “Divorce Your Spouse, Not Your Money®.” She has been interviewed by CNN, Good Morning America, NY Times, Business Week, CreditCards.com, ForbesWomen.com, and Oprah magazine.
The finances of divorce and how they are managed and worked through during the divorce process can significantly impact your post divorce future. Tune in to understand the most common mistakes and what you can do to avoid them.
Topics in this program include:
- How to make decisions based on facts, not emotions
- How to create a realistic post-divorce budget
- The impact of joint debts
- Protecting your income streams
- Considering the long-term consequences of your choices
- Developing your dream divorce team
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Getting Through a Military Divorce
Posted by: | CommentsOur guest, Matt Hamel is a family law lawyer who understands military divorce. With legal skills forged in the crucible of the Military Justice System, Matt is an unyielding advocate for military wives, female service members and the children of military families.
Recognizing the lack of easily available information about military divorces and Virginia law, Matt joined forces with the Hofheimer/Ferrebee law firm to co-author an informative book about Virginia family law and it’s impact on military families. Equally important, the book discusses entitlements due military wives as a result of their marriage to military members.
Armed with knowledge as a former Navy JAG officer and motivated with an advocate’s passion to help women through the family crisis of divorce, Matt also wanted to honor female military spouses who often serve their nation in quiet desperation as their family life unravels. Thus, he not only co-authored this book, but he also joined the Hofheimer/Ferrebee firm in order to represent women exclusively in divorce and custody matters. Matt’s not just “talking the talk,” he’s “walking the walk.”
Topics in this program include:
- What makes a military divorce different from a civilian divorce
- Where should a military divorce occur
- How will deployment and new duty stations impact child custody arrangements
- Do I need to be married for 10-years to my military spouse to be able to get a portion of his retirement?
- What is the Survival Benefit Plan and is it worth it to elect this?
- Will my medical benefits cease upon my divorce (health benefits are free to military members and their dependents)? What about medical benefits for our children after the divorce?
- What is a 20/20/20 spouse and what is a 20/20/15 spouse?
- And, so much more!
(http://www.virginiadivorceattorney.com/bio/matthew-r-hamel.cfm)
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A Dad’s Point of View: The Joys of Being a Single Parent
Posted by: | CommentsOur guest, Bruce Sallan shares his story of becoming a first-time dad, to a son, four days after his 40th birthday, less than 9 months after getting married (they got pregnant on the honeymoon). His second son was born three years later. When Bruce’s sons were still quite young, he left his job as Vice President ABC Motion Pictures for Television to become a full-time dad and to care for his ailing parents, the classic “sandwich” situation.
Shortly thereafter, his marriage ended and his wife abandoned their children, leaving the state. He became a full-time single dad, in his late-forties. Hear Bruce share his lessons and musings on being a single dad.
Topics in this program include:
- Reactions from friends and acquaintances about being a single stay at home dad
- The inherent differences in the parenting styles of mothers and fathers
- How gender differences affecting parenting, friendships and dating
- A single dad’s view on custody and the children’s best interests
- Triumph over heartbreak; new ventures and lessons learned
- The real importance of being a single parent
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The Power of Forgivness
Posted by: | CommentsThe forgiveness journey – how to make it happen
Our guest, Mark Rye is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Skidmore College. Mark’s research interests are in the field of positive psychology. He has studied the impact of forgiveness on post-divorce adjustment and has developed and evaluated interventions designed to help divorced individuals forgive their ex-spouse. Recently, he has become interested in how forgiveness of an ex-spouse relates to parenting approach.
In this informative and thought provoking interview we discuss what is forgiveness, and how to achieve it – so that angry thoughts do not hold you back from moving on. We explore how forgiveness is a journey and how your thoughts, feelings and behavior can transform you.
This is a very powerful and forgiving program! If you have any questions about this topic, please email Mark Rye at mrye@skidmore.edu
More information and resources may also be found at the Fetzer Institute http://www.fetzer.org/resources
- Topics in this program include:
- Strategies for letting go of your anger
- What is forgiveness
- Understanding the forgiveness journey
- What does research show about the relationship between forgiveness of an ex-spouse and post-divorce adjustment?
- Forgiveness interventions
- What are some of the unique challenges that divorced individuals face with respect to forgiveness?
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Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants
Posted by: | CommentsThis program on The Smart Divorce radio show with Deborah Moskovitch features Elliott Katz, author of seven nonfiction books. Elliott teaches the principles he shares in his book: Being a Strong Man a Woman Wants
After the end of a relationship, Elliott sought to learn about being a man in a relationship. He found books on marriage and relationships said little to him. He found powerful timeless insights in the lessons that fathers and other older male role models taught younger men. People started seeking his advice and would say, “Why didn’t someone tell me this before?”
Moving beyond the trendy ideas about a man’s role – that just don’t seem to work – Elliott shares insights on being a man that have withstood the test of time. Interestingly, these insights are the traits that he heard many women complain were lacking in men today – showing leadership, making decisions and taking responsibility.
Topics in this program include:
- Why are women so frustrated with today’s men?
- How does growing up without strong male role models affect men today?
- The lack of “quality” men is a common complaint from women today. What happened to today’s men?
- Does today’s strong woman today want a strong man?
- What are the traits of a strong man?
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